Facing Rejection as a Christian: Why It's a Good Thing

You might be wondering, well, what does it  even  mean, to view being treated like a reject as a good thing? Some of you might be a bit confused by this title of this blog and thinking it doesn’t make sense, but bare with  me.  You’ll see by the end of this presentation that rejection actually helps you in the end more than it hurts you. 

As an English major, I have to start by defining what rejection and being called a reject means. 

Some similar words that come to mind: 

LOSER, FAILURE, INCOMPETANT, REFUSED

Declined

Turned down

dismissed

spurned

abandoned

forsaken

deserted

Shut out 

excluded

shunned

cold-shouldered

blacklisted

ignored

snubbed

brushed-off

 

On Facebook, I put  myself out there a lot. I do LIVE makeup tutorials  and my face and personality, with all its imperfections are broadcasted for others to see. I willingly choose to allow myself to be subject to all sorts of comments and critiques. Most of the comments are very kind and supportive, while some are very critical and sometimes down right rude. When I first started doing tutorials, I really let it get to me and it let it hurt my feelings when someone said something negative. I was pretty insecure about how each makeup look would turn out and overly concerned about the amount of likes and comments I’d receive. This is because I was so focused on the label each comment gave me and internalizing the opinions of others. 

 

More recently, I discovered that this stemmed from a much deeper issue. It wasn’t just low self esteem or a lack of confidence in myself. I wasn’t living in the identity that God had given me as a believer because of past wounds that taught me to always believe what people thought of me. 

During the span of my life I’ve lost several jobs, friends, and romantic relationships due to this insecurity. I held a negative mindset that I could never be enough for any of the people who rejected me, whether  it was coworkers, friends I’d strived to keep, or past boyfriends with whom I wanted to maintain a relationship. 

I lacked a confidence that only comes from having a right relationship with God and richer knowledge of his Word. I also lacked the ability to relate to other people because I developed a sense that I was already unwanted and un-loveable before I even attempted to connect with them. I was still a “baby” Christian who knew Jesus as my Lord and Savior but had not fully accepted Christ into my heart

In high school, I  was very new in my faith and barely had knowledge of the Bible or what it meant to be a Christian, really. All I knew was that the peers around me didn’t act like I did. I’m not saying this to sound like I was better than them, but I could see they just had no reverence for God or even respected that I had a certain belief.

I can remember getting into a debate at the lunch table about abortion. And, because I was pro-life I was attacked with ridiculous accusations that well because I eat eggs I’m a hypocrite. This person was trying to equate the life of  a chicken to human life. Rather than using it as an opportunity to shine the light, I dropped the subject, fearing what others would think of me and not wanting the argument to escalate. 

On another occasion, I challenged the people who I spent time with at the table and bet they couldn’t go one day without using a curse word. It really offended me because I knew it offended God, but this group did not care and in fact proceeded to curse more.  I was scoffed at and was told at one point that I wasn’t being realistic. 

Of course, they viewed me as “stuffy” or too much of a “goody-goody.” My foolish choice was to shrink back rather than defend my faith and convictions. So, I isolated myself a lot because of this and it caused me to fall into deep depression and anxiety many times in my life. I never really felt I fit in and so I made that my fixation, which led to emptiness. 

I can remember feeling rejected for growing up in poverty. I felt unseen in some ways and most of the time felt people treated me different, as though I were less. But for the most part, this was a mindset I kept in the back of my mind, that I was never going to amount to anything. Just another statistic of the never-ending vicious cycle of low income families. It was very difficult for me to separate those painful things from who I was internally as a person and to not let them injure me. Many times I owned my pain like it was a precious possession, instead of bringing it to God. I even used these occurrences as reasons to make myself the victim, something I now know is part of that very negative and defeatist mentality. But, let me tell you,  as I grew in my relationship with the Lord, it was a lot easier to lay my pain, feelings of worthlessness and anger at the feet of Jesus rather than hold it inside.

I carried the label “reject” in my head with a negative connotation for a long time and failed  to really appreciate or even love the person God made me to be. I did fall away from my Christian walk, thinking it didn’t matter anymore and was pointless because life was miserable anyway. I was very lost for a long time and spiraled further and further into depression until I had nothing left to give. Fear of rejection was so crippling, I couldn’t get out of bed, let alone hold a job or manage my relationships with others. 

But as I grew older into adulthood and when I met my now husband,  I learned what having a relationship with Jesus Christ truly meant. In my heart, I was finally able to accept him and my mindset changed dramatically. There was a definitive shift in how I approached life and those around me. I no longer shrink back anymore when someone approaches me about my faith or who I am as a person. When I get negative criticisms, I just pretend I’m wearing a raincoat and let the toxic, negative words slide off me like sludge. 

Once it finally clicked in my head  that the rejection I felt was not my fault nor was it part of my identity, I finally realized that I am God’s special possession. I am a daughter of the Most High God, a princess made in His image. 

Being rejected is by no means a bad thing. Our culture has taught us that being liked by others is important. The truth is, it’s not as important as being obedient to God in any given situation. No amount of accolades from other people will ever truly fill your cup of blessings to overflowing the way Jesus does!

I know this may be a hard pill to swallow. After all, no one wants to feel rejected. We all want to feel as though we are well-liked. But, Jesus didn’t come to earth to “make nice” and have everyone like him. He knew that his teachings would cause division. He even predicted in Luke 12 that families would be divided against each other. We’re living in that time now! I know there are those watching who can relate to this and may be feeling pain right  now. But let me tell you this: that pain is nothing compared to the pain you would feel if you don’t have Christ in your life.

 I urge you, no matter where you’re at in life, to turn to the Word of God and the founder and perfecter of our faith, Jesus Christ. 

The ultimate truth is that rejection is a necessary aspect of being human and it’s meant to make you stronger. A friend told me recently a very wise and notable quote. She said that God is not as concerned about our happiness as He is concerned about our character. Being rejected can affect our happiness, but happiness is a feeling that is temporary. God promises to never leave us alone when we are struggling. He is always with us, even when it’s hard and not so fun walking the Christian walk. 

But God also wants good for us and he offers something even better than temporary happiness. He gives us His joy in full! He also provides other fruits of the Holy Spirit which are  love,  peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. All good stuff that can help us on our journey. 

I truly believe that God works everything for the good for those he calls for His purpose. We were all meant to live in His perfect purpose which outweighs anything that can come against you. And God will always equip you when you turn to Him first in any given situation you may be facing. 

In Deuteronomy 14:2, God tells us that we are chosen by him! We are His treasure! We are SO loved by this magnificent God who is mindful of us. This blew my mind when I first discovered it! It made up for all those negative lies that I kept in my head. 

I learned that as followers of Christ, we were never meant to feel accepted by man, only by God and other believers. Though, I will say that even fellow believers can fall short at times. Our focus always has to be on Christ and showing His love to others, even if we do not feel accepted. After all, feelings are NOT facts. 

Let me tell you, friend, that Jesus was no stranger to rejection. He also experienced intense rejection and  was  abandoned by his own friends. Any other person would become bitter by this, but Jesus knew his identity and wasn’t phased by his persecution. 

A major takeaway from Christ’s model is as Christ-followers, we need to grow thicker skin and learn to literally get over ourselves when someone mistreats us or acts less than kind towards us. In fact, we should be prepared for it to be a common occurrence and continue to act out of love rather than reacting in bitterness. This is how to overcome depression and anxiety from feeling rejected: embrace the acceptance you have in Christ and nurture a REAL relationship with him, even if it means you have absolutely  no one else. 

Christianity is not for wimps, that is for sure. I can be a lonely road, at times. I cannot count with both hands how many times I’ve been spurned for being a Christian and standing up for my beliefs. But as difficult as it is to face opposition because of our faith, God’s reward for our hearts being fully devoted to him makes it worth the heartache. He esteems us! He lifts us up! He fights our battles for us when we grow weak. 

 

In Luke 6:22-23 Jesus said “Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven! We aren’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. If your goal is to have a large following of people who like you and always accept you for who you are you will never feel as fulfilled. Think about it, Christ offers us VIP seats in Heaven. All you have to do is focus on being in a healthy relationship with Him.

We have to think of the big picture here. It’s not so much about our worth here on earth, as it is our ultimate goal to get into Heaven and lead more people to Christ while we are still here. 

King David was rejected and lived in fear of his enemies. But He always trusted God to save him. In Psalm 41:7 (ESV) it reads:

All who hate me whisper together about me; they imagine the worst for me. David was fighting for his life, yet he was able to turn to God the Father. How much more should we do the same when someone unfriends us on Facebook?

In Genesis, Joseph was rejected by his own brothers. In Joseph’s case , this rejection actually was a blessing because he became second in command of all of Egypt. God used his rejection for His good. 

And what about Jesus? The perfect man in every way? He was totally rejected by his people. Read Isaiah 53:3 ESV and you'll see, "He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not."

 John 15:18 ESV says: “If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.

If anything, we should be drawn closer to Christ BECAUSE of his suffering as a reject and feel comforted by a closer walk with Him. We can learn a lot by  how he handled being rejected! He chose to “turn the other cheek.” While some may call that weak, I would say it took a lot more strength not to retaliate, as he rightfully could have done. But,  if Jesus wasn’t turned in by his own friend to the authorities, tortured, ridiculed, and crucified,  He would have never won the victory over Death and there would be no redemption for all of us. His rejection was the ultimate example of why rejection doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. In fact, through his sacrifice, came a new beginning. 

So why can’t we see rejection as something good? Something that molds us like pressure does to coal transforming  it into a diamond? Because let’s face it-it hurts. It makes us angry and feel unwanted, unfavored. 

But the fact is that it is part of this life in this broken world.  In fact, we should start thinking of rejection as a redirection. A redirection to Christ and to God because as Christians, we will experience rejection. We need to grow thicker skin when it comes to this. Because God’s prerogative is always to protect you from things that aren’t good for you. Maybe the job you’ve been rejected from or the friend who no longer talks to you is actually a blessing in disguise? 

When I was looked down upon as  a child for being poor, I never realized how that was actually a good thing! In Luke 6:20-21 (NIV): Jesus said: ‘Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.’” I believe He was talking not just about the poor in spirit, but those who think of themselves as less because of their financial status. On this matter, He’s showing us that we can trust Him to be on our side even when times are tough. With Jesus, we always have more than enough. 

In Psalm 34  it says: When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

 

Psalm 139:13-14 reads: For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  We are very special to God and our hurts matter to Him. He did not form us in our mother’s womb with the purpose to chase after acceptance in this world. He made us so that we get to enjoy living a life that brings honor to Him. 

It doesn’t matter what car you drive, what brand you wear, how much money is in your bank account, or how many friends you have on Facebook.  The big picture here is that our lives were meant for more. We were meant for more. More than this reality. And we cannot let rejection or any work of the enemy keep us in bondage and from living out our divine purpose.

Now here are some new words to add to your vocabulary about who you REALLY are:

 

ACCEPTED

Validated

Recognized

Corrected

Adopted

Chosen

Worthy

Winner

Competent

Cherished

Embraced

Nurtured 

Included

A-Listed

Esteemed

Held

Included

Successful

Royal

The question now is how will you react the next time you are faced with rejection? Will you be offended and hurt? Or will you remember who you really, rise to the occasion and grow from the experience? The choice is yours, my dear friend.